I love you. I need confidence

i trust you.. i really do. i want to share with you something.. something in me.. i have a phobia.. it is so bad i deemed to have ended the life of the old me and start a new.

I am just so afraid of seeing another betrayal case. Another selfish case. another case where someone is innocently falling in to a trap that leads to eternal death. If one knows he would fall, would he still want to fall? No.. and exactly.. there have been many smart people who knew they didnt want to fall, but ended up falling because they did not put in priority the right things in mind.

suppose you know a lion eats humans. Would you still want to linger around inside a lion's den?
That exactly is the same issue everyone faces. written in the bible too..

There has always been one thing i want to share with you. cus i think its significant to me.. and i will share it with you today.. I want to share... how my name came about.

2 secrets i have. 1) why i changed my name 2) why the name was chosen/thought of.
These 2, i wish to tell to you. and in this way everything of me is completely in you. Nothing of me is untold to you..

I need confidence. I really do..7-8 years.. that amount of phobia and hurt.. that is why. now all i want is to concentrate on us.

**just some memories for the future**
your pic in my wallet. why is it there? what significance does it play? (: I open it everytime i need money or cash etc. I dont care who sees it or waht they think.. cus whats more important is the joy i get in my heart just seeing you and being with you.
The work of God is so complete. Sometimes too complete. Sometimes too much for us to bear. But i hope we'd hold on each other and keep moving on.

I still remember fondly how 2 weeks back you told me right in my eyes, "i love you". and just a few days back, easter sunday, you held my hand and moved your finger over my skin, loving me.. at least i felt loved.
I may sound really lovey dovey.. but thats what i have learnt from Christ. The greatest of all is love.
It is something we can never buy. and i know unless we both put in our logic and understanding, we will not find this kind of love anywhere else on earth.

I wont be deceived.. you too... please dont. (: